I feel depressed and alone in college. Could someone please help me!!! I'm not fat, or ugly!?

I'm a 21 year old college student. I have lived in two different dorms for the past two years. My parents will not let me live at home or rent out a studio apartment without a roommate. I have not been having a good dorm experience. What I have learnt here is that people can be exceptionally cruel, unkind, shallow, and hate-filled-->towards me. Yes, its true; I suppose I'm seeking advice as to what to do about this unhappy situation. Many of the answers I expect would be to put on a happy face or to smile; such statements of ignorance are insulting both to me and my life experience. The expectation of instant happiness is both ignorant and shallow. A persons state of mind is dependent upon there cirstances. Mine, for the past long while, have not been good. I was bullied in middle school, I experienced these evens as what I now consider to be sub-human treatment. My books were piled on the floor, my possessions ripped asunder, punched, tripped and all manner of things that make for self-collapse. This is exactly what happened; for the next two years (after middle school 9th &10th grade) I experienced a consistent state of depersonalization; in which suicidal thoughts were ever present. As I recall I would imagine a hang-mans noose ties to the ventilators of my high school, every time I ped it. I also believe I experienced hallucinations, in which I was debased and insulted, calling myself ******, stupid...ect. They were a repetition of the way I was treated during middle school: (I am not gay, although I have recently come to the understanding that I am probably biual). The next two years were better, forming a personality around the cool nerd genre. I was on the debate team, as well I joined a church youth group; where I received a superficial 'illusion of friendship'- I went to stare longingly at the ministers hot daughter, and to debate. Later, I went off to college, very excited and expecting sudden and better change I stupidly abandoned my high school friendships, not calling my friends or burning the bonds that held us together. I was SO very desperate for change. When I went to the college I pledged a fraternity where I made some solid friendships. When I later discovered I was only allowed to stay because of my fathers business connections I quit what was, for me, becoming a rapidly deteriorating situation. I became depressed during the middle of the semester and isolated myself in the library; much to the ire of my pledge cl, who, like all the others, began to despise me. I quit the fraternity. After living alone in an apartment for two weeks my Application for a dorm on campus was approved; while already depressed; I moved into the dorm. My isolation continued further, and again!, gaining the hatred of those who lived in my hall. At 3:00 in the morning, to my terror, my door was kicked in (ever since middle school, I have been very irate about invasions of my privacy) .As I walked outside to confront the imbeciles who had offended me; I began to become angry and shouted at them for the next 3 minutes. I had long suppressed anger, I took pleasure in expressing it. I drove home (4 hours) and transferred from the university the next weekend. For the next semester I worked at home with my parents and sister while I was enrolled at my home university. My job was given to me by nepotism. My father owns the company, a restaurant chain. Over my career there I have as well been hated by the crew, who view me as creepy, I am depressed there and therefore quiet. -You would be too if you were surrounded by people who already hate you-. The managers view me as an unnecessary burden, who they are forced to be nice to by my relation to my father. I am sure, if employed elsewhere without a degree, I would be fired. I began the school year at a new college in the fall. I moved into a dorm, a suite in fact with 6 roommates. I continued to be depressed and became unsocial for the first few months. My roommate and I began to smoke marijuana together, for him it was a habit. For me it was prozac; a way to feel happy. My grades suffered and my relationships with my hall-mates? continued to decline, now known as Steves '*****' I wallowed into another depression. The summer came, at last. I was on academic probation twice and no longer talk to my old roommates or Steve; although we do see each other from time to time. I have managed to salvage two friends in town from high school. I do not perceive them as stable; I am always questioning there friendship in private and seem as though I am just waiting for them to being to hate me and abandon me, alone, with nothing. I am now enrolled in another dormitory, the same thing has yet happened. I have two roommates, one is untalkative and spends most of his time on WoW. The other, is a , and spends most of his time in the next room talking shut on me, or playing starcraft; a game at which he is quite good and is therefore able to form relationships with oth